Being a Media Mum

February 1, 2011 at 11:30 am | Posted in Events | 1 Comment

By Angharad Mead, Member of Young Women Working in Media

January saw Young Women Working In Media team up with the London branch of The Radio Academy for an evening centered around the difficulties and rewards of being a media mum.

Chairing the panel was Sandy Warr, Chair of the London Events Committee, and there to share their experiences and advice were writer and broadcaster Natasha Desborough, RadioCentre Director of Strategy Lisa Kerr and BBC 6 Music Presenter Nemone Metaxas.

(L-R) Natasha Desborough, Nemone Metaxas, Sandy Warr, Lisa Kerr

The aim of the session was to explore the juggling act that so many women perform when choosing to pursue both a career and motherhood: as Nemone puts it, ‘Keeping all the balls in the air takes some doing…and they don’t always stay up, but it’s fun trying!’

Sandy began by asking the panel their thoughts on the very real fear that many young women have of stepping off the ‘treadmill of broadcasting’ and finding it impossible to get back on again. Lisa, who is about to have her third baby, was quick to reassure the audience that ‘the six, nine or twelve months that you might spend at home after having your child feels longer at home than it does for people left behind at work’. Although it’s natural to worry that people won’t remember you when you return, in reality this is extremely unlikely to be the case, and, as Lisa reiterated, having children can even make you better at your job: ‘Having children is normal, and working is normal…so if you are someone who has children and works, then you are in a much better position to connect with your audience’.

Nemone went on to explain that although it was pretty terrifying to imagine standing in front of the boss and imparting the news of her pregnancy, when it came down to it she felt ‘an overwhelming relaxation’ and knew that she was doing the right thing to suit that point in her life.

Natasha’s experience was rather different: whilst on maternity leave she was made to feel as though there was someone waiting to immediately step into her shoes, prompting her to return to work a mere 5 weeks after the birth of her first son. This involved feeding her new baby, rushing in to work and then escaping the second the radio show was over to feed him again. It wasn’t ideal, but nonetheless Natasha felt as though her job gave her ‘six hours of freedom’ each weekend which she savoured. Being a new mother also gave her an important bond with breakfast show listeners who were up early on a Saturday morning to look after young kids. Consequently Natasha felt that post-baby she did the best shows she’d ever done in her life.

The panelists discussed the necessity amongst freelancers of working almost right up to the due date in order to pay the bills. Nemone worked up until two weeks before the birth of her daughter, something she says she would never do again as it was so tiring. Lisa worked up until 36 weeks with her first, 34 weeks with her second and 33 weeks with her third, and stressed to the audience the importance of balancing the need to earn money with the need to mentally prepare yourself for the birth.

The financial implications of being a media mum can also have an impact on childcare solutions. Natasha’s way of handling this was to rework her career ‘to fit around the kids rather than the other way around’. She did this by writing a comedic parenting guide (Parental Advisory Manual) which is now being adapted for television. Lisa raised the valid point that childcare issues should not just be a problem for working mums to solve – men must pull their weight too.

Lisa cited the example of her own husband, who left the Royal Marines so that he could play an active role in his children’s up-bringing. She was careful to note that not only do men need to recognize their duty to share responsibility, but employers also needed to reform their attitude towards male and female roles to prevent discrimination.

Talk turned to support from sources other than partners. Natasha placed emphasis on the difficulty of juggling career and motherhood in the absence of the money to pay for childcare or a family who are willing to help, and the panelists discussed the absence of childcare facilities in many large workplaces, with Sandy observing humorously but very pertinently that the House of Commons used to have a rifle range but no creche.

To sum up, Sandy put the panelists on the spot and asked them for the one most important piece of advice they would pass on to the audience:

• Natasha: ‘Be prepared for change and know that there will be times when things are really difficult…but the children do keep you going’.
• Nemone: ‘Remember to enjoy it, both when you’re at home…and when you’re at work’
• Lisa: ‘Working is normal and having children is normal. Putting the two together is difficult…but they are quite natural, normal things to do and you oughtn’t to feel that you have to make a choice between the two.’

All in all it was a thoroughly enjoyable and informative evening. A big thank you to Sandy, Natasha, Nemone and Lisa, as well as to everyone who came along to listen and participate in the discussion.

You can find Angharad’s blog here: edible-glitter.com